You love them because they save you and let’s be honest…typically have really great arms and look really good, but you hate them because these are the guys that try to pick you up and sleep with you at any bar close to Grand Central or any firehouse in Manhattan. I happen to live near Grand Central and cops and firefighters from Queens and Brooklyn love to come to my neighborhood bars. This is one of the main reasons I avoid going out in my neighborhood because the chances of me meeting another Manhattanite in these places are next to zero. I want to date someone who lives somewhat close, not a 40 or 60 min train ride away.
It’s a fact that Cops and Firefighters for some reason are attracted to me. I was with a Navy man for many, many years and I don’t want or wish to be with any man that regularly puts his life on the line and/or in general is a meat head. I know that might sound like BS, but that’s my take on service men of any kind. No military, no cops, no firefighters, no FBI! While we are at it, no security officers or bouncers either lol. Just save yourself the misery and say NO!
What prompted me to write this post is that I met a really HOT firefighter on Saturday night. I was walking home from Grand Central stone cold sober at 11pm. This isn’t the first FDNY service member that has tried to get my attention, but J.H was definitely the slickest. This mother bleeper was on his phone walking in my direction and we glanced at each other. He then literally bee-lined over to me and asked me if I knew where McFadden’s was? Slick!
I removed my headphones and asked him to repeat the question as I eyeballed him. He asked again while keeping the phone caller on hold. He then asks me to join him to meet some friends at a champagne lounge and hangs up on whoever he was talking to without saying goodbye. I politely decline. I was going home. I thought I looked like crap and just wasn’t in the mood. He asks if he can take a picture with me and I agreed. This isn’t the first time a drunk guy has asked to take a picture with me in the street, but he was HOT, so I made an exception. He takes 2 pictures of us and once I look at the picture I saw just how HOT he really was. Smokin’! Literally this firefighter had to put my flames out!
The more this guy is ranting on and asking to take me out I start really listening to him and watching his body language. I realize not only is this guy HOT, but he’s smart and witty too! At this very moment It dawns on me that I’m in trouble and tell myself “What the hell go with him”. Yikes!
J.H. made me feel like he was mesmerized by me and this engaged me. Slick, slick! So I suggest going to McFaddens, for one drink and he then admits he had just came from there. Lying Mother F’er!
Walking together J.H. immiediately tries to hold my hand. RED ALERT #1 Trying to establish intimacy prematurely = I’m in a rush to touch you = Nothing more than a Hook up! I laughingly ask “are you trying to hold my hand”, shaking his hand away from mine. He replies “Yeah, I figure we are at that stage. Don’t you think?” I told him “No, I don’t think we are at that stage. I just met you 5 mins ago.” He must’ve tried grabbing my hand at least 5 times on the short 2 block walk to McFaddens. Ridiculous!
There’s a crazy line at McFadden’s, so we go to Calico Jacks next door. The clientele that usually frequents these kind of establishments off 2nd Ave. are referred to as BNT’ers. Which stands for Bridge N Tunnel’ers. Meaning they don’t live in the city, but travel by bridge or tunnel to get into the city. They are typically working class and young. These two spots are conveniently located near Grand Central and are easily accessible for our friendly BNT’ers.
They waive the cover for us as soon as I walk up. I guess guys that try to go in on their own get charged $5. The place is disgusting. Trashy even, but whatever it was on the way home for me and this guy was fun to look at. He grabs my hand yet again and waves me through a crowd of people up steps to a private corner where there are chairs. Now, this is really frickin’ random for me! I don’t usually meet people in the street and hang out with them, but he was an exception. College educated, smart, sexy, funny, great ass, nice chest and arms, confident, and seemingly sincere.
He didn’t offer to buy me a drink right away which I thought was weird, but instead wanted to thumb wrestle me. At the time I thought it was cute until yesterday when I read an article in Glamour that said “play hand games to flirt like thumb wrestling”. J.H clearly had read this same article. Worst part was that I fell for it! I thought he was boyish cute, but a sexy man at the same time. Double whammy for me!
I finally say I need a drink and we both go to the bar and he offers to pay for it. Nice! At this point I’m noticing he doesn’t look once to check out any other girls. Points in my book! But I think most guys and all players know eyeballing all the meat around won’t get you any tail and they adjust accordingly depending upon if there is prey in sight.
We sit at the bar for a little bit and I just couldn’t help myself so I start touching his shoulders and arms and smiling. He smiled back, but was fumbling with his beer and maybe even dribbling a little and was clearly drunk, not teetering drunk, but drunk. Nevertheless, it was such a turnoff. He only drank 1 beer the entire 5+ hours we were together, so he must’ve sobered up at some point.
Internal Dialogue with myself: He’s so cute! But he’s a FireFighter. But look at his ass! OMG he has a great profile. He’s cheap, he only bought me one drink! Why does he keep saying such cute and funny things? I so want to see him naked! He lives in Queens, Ick! OMG what am I doing here?
We finally sit back down in our corner and then he starts staring at me and leaning towards me. This immediately makes me feel uncomfortable as I don’t kiss people I just meet or don’t know and he fell into both those categories. I say jokingly, but meant it “Don’t stare at me and get close like that I know what it means and I don’t even kiss guys on a first date and this isn’t a date”. He laughs and decides to make a joke out of it and tries to get as close to my lips without touching them. Once he starts this game it’s like he won’t stop. I thought it was a game at first as well until I realized it was just J.H being slick and was part of his game, not a game. He’s totally seducing me with this game in a bar full of people and I HATE PDAs! He’s stroking my hair and the sides of my face, but no kiss. This goes on for like an hour it seems. He says “this sexual tension is killing me, but it’s awesome.” In my head I’m thinking what the F is going on here, but am so wanting him it scares and excites me at the same time.
I start to feel dominated by this game and got really bitchy and tell him he’s making me feel uncomfortable. I could tell he felt uncomfortable too by what I was saying and it made me feel good. I was trying to put him in his place, but it didn’t work because my actions didn’t back it up. RED ALERT #2 rushing physicality = disrespecting boundaries. I should’ve bailed at this moment, but I stayed. The pretend kissing game went on longer and I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I couldn’t take it anymore. I took a long time on purpose and he was still out there waiting for me when I got back. Uh oh!
It has to be close to 1am at this point. He pulls me close to him up against a wall and with our bodies pressing up against each other and his lips just barely touching mine I gave in to the kiss. It was so soft, sweet, and passionate. I think I was practically hyperventilating from the nerves. My heart was beating so fast and I’m sure he could feel it through my chest. There was serious chemistry! It was definitely the best stranger kiss I’ve ever had. See my other posts…there are a lot of really bad kissers out there.
We make out against that wall for a good while, but the whole time I’m incredibly uncomfortable. It was all so soft, sweet and gentle, but I don’t like being a spectacle for other people and just find bar/club hookups to be tacky. Although I’ve been guilty of it at least 3 times this month. Eeeek! At some point J.H. decides he’s had enough and doesn’t say anything to me just takes my hand and brings me to the bar to close my tab. RED ALERT # 3 Any guy taking on too much control is not a good thing. This guy thought he’d end the night early and take the party back to my place. Did he ask me? NO!
I close my tab and we start walking to my block and I say I guess it’s time for me to go home now. We get to my street and he’s not letting me go that easy. It’s around 2am by now. He wants me to sit on the floor next to him. Ugh. I don’t sit on street corners! I bring him to the next building over and we sit on a ledge for 2 more hours and make out PG-13 style and talk. I tell him I don’t bring guys up to my apt that I don’t know. He’s still sitting next to me. WTF? He says he wants to take me out on Tuesday and I tell him I’m going to MOMA and he’s like “what’s that?” Bad news, guy…it’s a museum and I’m pretty sure everyone knows that. Strike! He said “Then Wednesday let’s go out.” He says he wants to see me as soon as possible. RED ALERT #4 Future Faking
“Future Fakers make it seem like there’s an actual future on the horizon for your relationship because aside from helping them get what they want in the present, they get to look and feel like they’re an amazing person…till they worry about delivering the goods…” – Natalie Lue, Baggage Reclaim (She’s awesome! Met her in person a few months ago, here in NYC)
I felt bad trying to get rid of this guy considering he had an hour+ commute ahead of him, but I just couldn’t stop thinking that I loved the attention and would have loved to see him naked. I give him my number and I add him as a friend on Facebook so we can get in touch. He lies to me and tells me he’s 25, while later Facebook stalking I find out he’s 28. What gives? He tells me he’s never been in relationships long enough to cheat. But says he’s only had 3 significant relationships in his life that all lasted about a month! RED ALERT#5 Lack of committment = Playa fo’ sho’. I should’ve wrapped things up real quick after this point, but still couldn’t tear myself away from J.H.
FDNY Douche!
As 4:30am rolls around I tell him I really have to go and so does he to get back home safely. He’s too cheap to pay for $60 car service. RED ALERT #6 Cheap Guy! This guy will never buy you anything or take you out, so it’s a waste of time anyway. Scram already! I finally leave him with a kiss on the cheek and don’t look back.
I wake up at 12pm the next day and see that he’s already accepted my friend request from the previous night. I block certain albums I don’t want him seeing in haste and lightly stalk his profile. Nothing good there, no pics and not many friends. I wait for his call. Sunday goes by, Monday goes by, Tuesday goes by, Wednesday is here. I think he has to call, but I hope he doesn’t because of other guy drama I have and it would just be trouble for me if I get mixed up with him. But I still want to get mixed up with him anyway.
Late that night I notice that I had one less friend on Facebook then I had the day before and I instantly check for J.H in my friends list. He isn’t there! That c*ck sucker defriended me! WTF! Did my pics make me look too high maintenance? Was I not pretty enough? Did he think I was fat?
It didn’t matter. I chose to believe I was too high maintenance for him and honestly it would be easier for him to score with any girl other then me. I’m a relationship girl. I like guys that take their time with me and treat me right and I made that clear to him. I wonder why he accepted my friend request in the first place? Why go through that just to defriend someone? People are weird!
I realized how lucky I am that I didn’t share more of myself with this creep. What I had with J.H. might have been rare for me and special in a weird way, but was a typical night for him. I’m sure he meets tons of girls the way he met me, but luckily for me our escapade ended with a kiss. Grant it I won’t be young or have guys chasing me forever, but one night stands are gross and never lead to happiness unless you are totally disconnected from your body and emotions.
If a guy is really into you he will definitely take his time with you and not rush you into anything even if you do meet him at a bar/club/lounge or in the street. I’m calling on all the ladies to demand more from guys. If we all took a stand and got smart, guys like J.H would be left playing circle jerk, as they should be doing.
In short, I heart FDNY for the service they give to our community and they are fun to look at, but some things are better off loving from afar 😉 .
Adios J.H.! Kiss my blog! lol
ThirtyFlirtyFit 
Where can I meet a girl like you?
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