Tag Archives: match.com

New Date…FAIL!

23 Sep

So I go on a first date tonight with a seemingly nice guy from match.com. He’s age appropriate at 36 and we agree to meet at the Smith. His profile says he’s 5’10. When I arrive I see he’s more like 5’8, which is annoying. Still he looks ok and the conversation was really flowing, so I stay for 2 drinks.

I tell him I’m a conservative girl and I like to take my time getting to know a guy. I feel it’s necessary to tell guys this now because they all get inappropriate at some point. I always hope when I meet a new guy and actually like them that they stay a gentlemen all night. Most fail sadly.

At some point the doosey comes out about him having an 8 year old daughter and getting divorced 5 years ago. I’m kinda at the point that I’m ok with this now, just cause lots of people have kids at our age. So I ask him would you date a woman with kids and he aggressively says no. I inquire further why and he says because he’s not trying to get involved with that drama.  “I’m at the point where I want as few obligations as possible”. What an idiot! He wants me to consider dating him, but he would never do the same. AND he wants no obligations. What a moron! Yeah ok guy strike one.

Then he mentions he’s looking to have fun. Any guy that says anything about having fun is an immediate NO for me and should be for all you girls out there. He’s a “hit it and quit it” type and a waste of your time.

So we decide to call it a night and he kisses me outside of the smith. It was actually a really good kiss surprisingly. I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I have so few intimate moments in my life that a kiss can be really exhilarating to me. No it doesn’t mean I want to sleep with you or you are coming back home with me you twit. Which I’m sure he was thinking. Ugh!

He suggests going to another bar across the street and I go. There were no girls in the bar and I literally felt the guys swarming. 2 guys had sat right at our table across from us and it wasn’t even crowded. #weird

It’s getting late so I offer to pay the bill since he paid at the last spot. We leave and I start walking home and he follows me. He kisses me again. Another good kiss and I tell him I should get going. He’s like let’s hang out more. I might not be able to get home if 1st avenue is closed because of the UN general assembly. Which is true, but I went from annoyed to totally offended in 2 seconds. I totally called him out. I was like are you seriously inviting yourself to my place with this bs story? Didn’t you hear anything about me?

So we leave and he again tries to come home with me and then invites me to his place. He kisses me again and starts touching my waist and hips. I wore a conservative dress with a bulky jacket, so he couldn’t see my body, but I’ve determined it’s just worse this way to try and hide myself. Still the same result with overly sexual disrespectful guys trying to bang me after knowing me for hours.

He pulls me off the street and gets CRAZY with me all within minutes or seconds telling me he’s so hard and I’m so hot and he wants me so bad…he’s going to have to break his rule with me….yeah guy shut the fuck up I’m thinking in my head. Then he tells me he wants to eat me out sooo bad…I’m like WHOA guy, this is getting crazy. We are looking for different things. I have to go home. I’ve sadly had more guys than I’d like telling me they would love to eat me out. WTF?! Is this normal courting behavior? Why does this always happen to me? I mean match.com is a paying dating site right? If I wanted to get eaten out by randoms I certainly don’t have to pay for a dating service you DICK! I can walk into any bar and have that happen. Piece of shit!!

He changes his tone saying he’s open to seeing me again and would want to. What is this guy smoking?! Like hell I’m going to see him again. Fucking idiot!

This guy is an educated 36 year old that makes over 6 figures. He knows better. He’s an asshole and NYC is filled with this.

At any rate I just feel like eating sweets and sleeping in tomorrow. It’s useless. It seems like there are no good men left in NYC. Did all the mothers out there do terrible jobs? How am I constantly disrespected? Don’t tell me not to kiss the guy because I think there’s a HUGE gap between kissing a guy and talking about how hard you are and how much you want to eat someone out.

Tell me what I’m doing wrong please…I beg of you.

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Online Dating at it’s Best

10 Jun

I don’t know if many of you have experience in the world of online dating, but I just had my first “real” taste of it and I’d like to share my experience with you all . The two sites used were match.com and plentyoffish.com (POF).

**Stay tuned for updates**

For starters, let me just say that I am a fit, educated, attractive, professional young lady in my early 30s. Given the nature of my newly single status I decided to go man shopping online. In general I have found that there are more educated higher earning men on match.com as opposed to POF, but still put a good effort into both sites. It’s also important to note that match.com provides income range information, where as POF doesn’t.

Let’s all be honest girls… we all care what a guy makes and how he makes it. We don’t want to make more then them and have to be a sugar momma and also we want to know they mean business. Meaning, if things progress with anyone you meet they could potentially be an equal partner and help build a family with you if desired.

I sent about a good 90 plus winks a day on match.com, yet it’s much more difficult to get a dialogue going with men here for some reason.  Match.com will actually block any further attempts to wink if you send approx 97 winks.  Pretty funny! In comparison, on POF my first week, I think I had email dialogue with at least 10 men (40 or so emails that I didn’t respond to), chat with 15 guys and texting with at least 4 guys that I was genuinely interested in. At this point I’m thinking POF is the way to go from a shear numbers perspective.

I let several weeks go by out of fear from meeting any of the POF guys and disappointment from the lack of interest being displayed on the better educated, higher earning men on match.com.

I come back in full affect by week 4 and get really liberal with giving out my number on POF where I’ve had the most success. MISTAKE!! I’ll get into it later. To the point where I get 2 different “Rob’s” from POF confused. Eeekkkk!

A few guys never called from POF for some reason. Some guys didn’t even want to talk on the phone they just wanted to meet up after sending 4 emails back and forth in one day. I almost went on one of these quick dates without talking on the phone until I requested a phone call for safety precautions. I highly recommend you ladies do the same. You never know!

1. ROB  from Queens, NY that works in Media–  POF (Coincidentally, saw he has a profile on match too)

This guy had the typical trampy looking girl next to him in a couple of pics and had a couple of sunglasses pics. **Read below on what pics not to post on your profile if you are a guy**If you are a normal guy….DON’T DO THIS! In fact no pictures should be allowed wearing sunglasses on dating sites. You can’t see what the frickin’ person looks like.

ROB sent well written emails with correct punctuation to me back and forth about 4 times then wanted to meet at a local Midtown East pub called O’Casey’s* later on that night. Just to be safe I go get a blowout and a haircut to make sure I looked great for this possible 1st POF date. I asked him for a simple phone call before hand to confirm with hours of advance notice. THE GUY NEVER CALLED…even after an attempt to chat with him. I sent him an email 10 mins after we were supposed to meet saying “I don’t know what’s going on? You never called”. He responds 5 mins later saying “Ugggghh! We aren’t meeting now” and that was it. It was his fault and he let his ego get in the way and I wasted a blow out. Well not really I had 3 other dates lined up 🙂 1st POF date a bust!

2. ROB from Westchester, NY works in Film–  POF

This guy had a couple of fuzzy pics, but he looked like a good, tall, and attractive Italian boy. Just the kind I like. We send 2 emails back and forth and I give him my number. He calls me while I’m waiting for ROB 1 to call me and I get them confused. I feel really bad as the good girl vibe is typically my angle. This was fouled up from the beginning on my part. That changed REAL QUICK when he starts playfully making fun of me saying that I’m a player. I’m like “no really I haven’t met anyone…you are like the first person I talked to”, which was true. I’m ok with being called a player, but when he starts talking about his PSYCHO EX that was also a player for about 15 mins…I quickly learned I’m in DANGER ZONE. Yes, it’s true it was my fault I didn’t have an exit strategy, but I’m new at this and it’s why I’m writing in this blog, so all of you can learn from my mistakes. I let the conversation continue and ROB proceeded to ask me how much I weighed? I was like what the hizell? I told him my weight then he started telling me about the various sized women he’s dated. Then he asked me if I wear thongs …this is where it got UGLY! I’m gripping the phone so tight and just keep saying “ROB why are you asking me this?” I’m not going to go there.” Then he starts telling me how turned on he is and if I’ve ever had PHONE SEX. Ahhh right here I realize I’m in ONLINE DATING HELLL! Some how I keep changing the topic and then finally get off the phone. He calls me 30 minutes later really intense with the phone sex and I tell him I’m going to have to let him go so he can take care of himself because I don’t want any part of what he’s doing. Then he flips out and tells me I’m a “typical POF girl that has baggage”???? Why because I don’t want phone sex??? Unreal. Watch out for these types lady…they do exist. Even if they are wearing suits in their pictures, are handsome and clean cut.

Solutions

Use this site to get an instant phone call for call waiting http://www.wheresmycellphone.com/

Use this site to schedule a call  http://wakerupper.com/

I just tested both and they work! You can call yourself and use it as an excuse to get off the phone or end a date early after an hour or so, which is more then enough time. No need to bother your friends to save you anymore 🙂

3. JEREMY from Astoria Queens, NY works as a bank manager —-POF

Jeremy is an Irish 6’5 tall, 36 year old well built man, but actually looked more like 42 in person. Wrinkles! We send a few emails back and forth and he asks me to meet up later on during the same day. I ask him for a phone call and he calls. Great, we agree to meet at a somewhat divey bar on the UES called Bar Coastal*. I’m there early waiting at this crowded bar and he shows up. He’s not repulsive. He’s fit. He’s just a total spaz. I guess he was nervous. I think he chugged 4 beers in 45 mins and occasionally missed his mouth while drinking…oh brother! After 45 mins, he starts rubbing my hand and motioning for me to put my arm around his…WHAT? This guy is moving REAL FAST! I mean there was a lot of hand rubbing. There can be too much hand rubbing. He buys me 2 drinks and a basket of popcorn shrimp. Modest, but really nice and sweet. He however orders spicy chicken tenders with wing sauce. Not typical date food. He broke out into a drenching facial sweat while eating them and had a perpetually running nose. I thought to myself…”so not a good look man”. Gross! I did plan on an exit strategy for this date, because date #4 was right around the corner. I told him my friends were meeting me for a movie at Kips bay and that they were already on their way. He tried to get me to cancel with no success. He pays the tab like a gentlemen and I thank him up and down. It wasn’t terrible at this point. Especially when we walked out he held my hand as we walked to 2nd ave and he was sooo tall that it was attractive. I’m 5’5 and he’s 6’5, so he just seemed like a gentle giant.  It all came crashing down hill when he put me in my cab and shoved his tongue in my mouth….GROSS! There was practically no lip contact…just tongue. Done over! I’m disgusted…hoping date 4 goes so much better.

4. LEONARDO from Huntington Long Island, NY works as a DayTrader — POF

Nice tall latin guy, from a good background. Unfortunately found out he’s 30 and still lives at home with his parents during an online chat. _____The sound of my face hitting the floor!!!!! This is a no go, but I decide I still need practice. Still not sure if this was stupid of me, but leaning on the yes…stupid side. Feel free to comment. I know he’s not fit for long term, but still decide to meet up with him. Initially we emailed a few times, then went to chat very quickly. He asks to call me and we talk for like an hour. They guy doesn’t want to let me go and it’s late, but whatever. We tentatively agree to either do a Sunday brunch party or do a dinner. I’m a bit of a “good” party girl. I like to dance and have fun, whatever, so this was more appealing to me then the dive bar. As JEREMY leaves me in my cab I call LEONARDO to find out where we are meeting. We agree on Nikki Beach Midtown*. I walk in and see him by the bar…darn he’s not as cute as his pics. Ugggghhhh! Forget that though the place is fist pumping guido central! Did I mention I like Italian guys :). They all seemed to be here from Brooklyn and Long Island tonight. Maybe not solid long term potential, but fun to look at to say the least. I’m finding it difficult to keep paying attention to LEONARDO, but he buys me 2 drinks like a gentleman and I thank him many times. The WEIRD part is this kind of turned into a group date as he had about 3 friends with him, that knew another 10 people there. I was like what’s going on here? Who are all of these people? One of the guys, that turns out to be LEONARDO’s cousin, comes up to me and starts stroking my cheek and saying “man you met her on POF? That’s a GOOD HIT man!” I was like “good hit”?? What the hell does that mean? I assumed it was some kind of twisted compliment, but still really wierd. Eventually LEONARDO asks me if we want to go to dinner on our own or go with his friends…I’m not really feeling him so I say yes to the group thing. STUPID!!!! We get in his Crooklyn-esq friend’s 750 BMW, don’t ask how he got it and proceed on to Wolfgang Pucks*. I’ve been here before for happy hour and it has top notch food, so I’m excited. The 4 of us are seated. The cousin and the driver start shoving bread n butter sammich’s in there mouths like they were on death row. It’s ridiculously comical! I order just an appetizer to stay modest with a water. That’s it. Meanwhile these guys order like kings. They were all so unpolished and lacking manners it was kind of hard to stomach, but I was laughing at the scene in my head. THEN…I see all of them texting at a point and the cousin to my right saying over the table to LEONARDO “yeah man it’s a good hit go for it”. I interrupt them and say “guys I’m sitting right here I know you are talking about me” and then they get all apologetic and say “oh no it’s a good thing, don’t worry about it”. At this point I want to go home and I wait 20mis and ask him how he’s going to get home. There was a pause….I think this “bro” thought he was going to shack up with me. Grant it, it was late…like 11pm or something, but HELLS NO! So they guys get the bill I offer 40 bucks which was way too much, but I didn’t have change and they didn’t take it, which was nice, but I only ordered 1 crab cake. We leave the place and the guys hop in the car and leave me in the dust to catch a cab. NOT COOL! At least put me in one. IDIOT! He texts me later on that night to make sure I’m ok and has since texted me several other times, but Ehhh! Now looking back after date 5 he’s not looking so bad. Now on to 5. Brian from match…

5. Brian from Manhattan Via Miami but from Rochester, NY owns a Government Consulting Company– Match

This guy was the wild card. He’s only 28, but spoke like he was 35, tall, Irish and Italian. Had high end taste and looked kinda cute from his pics. I was excited. He was actually the first non-whacko that reached out on Chat through Match, so I accepted and we did chat for like an hour then I gave him my number and we spoke for another hour. Funny thing was that during our chat I accidentally hit the “block” button and it took me a minute to figure out how to unblock him. I could see him typing, but nothing would come up. So I write, “I’m typing can you see my messages? Something is wrong here. I think I blocked you by accident.” I go to my messages area to write him an email and there are 4 emails telling me what a Pyscho I am for coming up with that story and what a bit$h I was. WOW! This guy just called me a bit$h and I just barely gave him my name. Not looking good!  I think the error I’ve repeated over and over again is giving my number out too quickly. The reason why I do this though is to move the process along faster of meeting the guys to avoid unnecessary build up, but I think I should take a slower approach to save myself some headaches and time. BRIAN proceeds to text me the following day and gives me the impression he is HIGH MAINTENANCE. Not one text, but like 25. I told him I had an errand to run and needed to go and he was dissapointed…man…lay off it already! We originally make plans to meet on Sunday afternoon, but he doesn’t get back to me till 6pm. I’m in the throws of JEREMY HELL and on my way to LEONARDO HELL, so I’m maxed out. We end up having to reschedule for Monday night. We decide to meet at 6:30 inside Grand Central Station. It was a little disorganized and a bad idea in the first place. It’s rush hour with maniacs and homeless people everywhere and you want to meet there? Ok…if we can avoid getting run over by the stampedes of people fine. We finally meet and he’s dressed very sharply, but I’m taken a bit back by his bad breath, black tooth (thought it was spinach at first) and his baldness! Man should’ve know from all the profile pics with hats in them! As we walk out of Grand Central it’s apparent he’s very Miami and pushes me out of the way so he can walk on the side of the walkway that faces the street (to protect the girl if a car comes up on the sidewalk…stupid, I know). He opens every door as I walk through and I loved that. He was very courteous and gentlemanly. I suggest we go get coffee at Crumbs* which is literally right out the door. To his point, there was a homeless man standing directly inside seemingly perched on the stairs, so we opted for somewhere else. He says “I know…I have drink vouchers (also know as coupons) for the Waldorf-Astoria* that I’ll never use if we don’t use them now. Let’s go back to my office and get them. I’m like ok. Kinda exciting, because I’ve never been to the Waldorf-Astoria for drinks before. So we go to his office and I wait in the lobby. It’s a nice modern renovated or new building. I wait for like 10 mins and he shows back up. No bag or jacket or anything. We walk over to the Waldorf-Astoria and go to the bar. On the walk over I couldn’t help but notice his weird body type or body language. Chest puffed out and feet pointed out side-ward  when walking. It was a definite negative, but we were at the Waldorf-Astoria, so who cared for now. We sit down and he asks me if I’m a people watcher. Which I’ll admit I do sometimes do, but what he liked to do was stare at every person in the room and criticize them. It was actually kind of mean. No one was safe from his criticism. He would interrupt me to make comments about people. No go! Then he starts rubbing my hand…I immediately think…what the hell is up with the hand rubbing, get the F off me! I smile and try to keep my hands occupied by eating nuts and holding my drink. He says he’s having such a good time that we should get dinner. I suggest that we just take it slow. He’s like nonsense. Let’s go get something to eat. We only order one drink each and he pays for the bill with his voucher a.k.a coupon. Then, he masterfully asks if I can get the tip since he has no cash on him.  I paid it willingly. I took my wallet out and asked for change and I noticed him looking at my wallet and he commented on my various credit cards. NOTE* At this point he also took out his wallet and it was filled with cards of all kinds I didn’t look specifically to avoid being rude, but it was a HUGE wallet* If a guy doesn’t come prepared enough to have cash on a first date then it’s a problem. This should have been a red flag to me, but now I know. This is a no go!  A guy should pay for everything on the first date. I don’t care how much money he thinks he has, whether or not he has a boat,  or how many super models have stolen from him in the past. I’m an IDIOT though and I hope you learn from my mistakes because it gets a lot worse for me.

Now on to dinner. We wait in the lobby of the Waldorf-Astoria and brain storm some possible dinner spots. He suggests Phillipe and Tao. We opt for Tao* for the more youthful hip vibe. We hop in a cab and it takes 5 mins to get there. He pays for the cab fare with his cc and I thank him. I’m fumbling with my purse and he’s waiting for me to get out of the cab first and says “After you”. Very polite! So we get out, he loses his balance, shuts the door and we proceed into the restaurant. He can’t stop talking about everyone else once we get inside. It’s awful, but the place is amazing visually. I can’t believe I had never been there before. We get seated shortly after upstairs, so we get a great view for his people watching. He chooses our appetizers, which was annoying. I don’t like for anyone to order for me. Ask me what I want jerk! He orders crab cake and pork rolls. He orders a main entree that’s about 30.00 and mine is 36.00. Pretty expensive. We each order one drink. Then we get dessert which he recommends. After dessert he starts fumbling around and acting nervous. He says “I can’t find my card, where’s my card?” He looked a bit neurotic! I saw him looking in his pockets, but I noticed that he never once pulled out his wallet, which I thought was weird. Who only has one credit card? I know I don’t have just one. So he then says “I must’ve left it in the cab on the way here. Did I fumble getting out of the cab? Do you think you can get this? Can you afford it?” pointing in the direction of the bill. It dawned on me at that moment, that I was TOTALLY PUNKED in the worst way. I was going to have to pay for this mother f’er that I didn’t even like. I didn’t suggest the place, he did and I got stuck with the entire bill. All $165.00 of it!!!!! Plus, I had paid the tip from the drinks at Waldorf-Astoria. I went from feeling like a princess to a sugar momma for a degenerate in one second. Talk about a NY SECOND! And I did it all with a smile on my face. I felt scammed in the worst way, but at this point I just wanted to get the hell away from this bragging loser as fast as I could. He apologized many times and said he would take me out to a nice pizza place tomorrow or wherever I wanted to go. I was like OK, sure it happens. I was dying inside though. To make matters worse he didn’t have any way of getting home. First he said he would walk the 20 blocks back, then he said he could just walk from my place, which is only 5 blocks. Then when I get in the cab I tell the driver my cross streets and BRIAN says “wait did you tell him we are doing 2 stops” I said “Oh I thought you were going to walk back from my place since I lived closer to Tao. No he started with this confused look and said “oh ok, well whatever” which was rude . Then I thought quickly if he walks from my place I’ll have to be outside alone with him. If the cab drops him off first at his place it will be out of the way, but fast.  I then said ok, “two stops, drop him off first”…and I got the bill again. Man was that the worst date ever in the history of dates.

Guy Profile Pic NO-NOss

Do not post pics on your online dating profile of you….

Trampy girl standing next to you in a pic…think again…putting trampy girls in your pictures will turn other potential girls off even if it’s your sister. Don’t make our head gears turn if they don’t have to.  Holding a fish you just caught….gross! Sunglasses…we can’t see your face! Hats off….we want to see if you have hair…don’t make us find out when we meet you. Not in your bathroom mirror…tacky! Not with your shirt off…although sexy, not classy! Not next to your really hot guy friend or friends. Not standing in front of some national monument where we can’t see your face. We just want you! That’s all we really care about. Keep it simple stupid!