Dating Guys that Live in Your Building

30 Jul

Ok, so I’m not sure if I posted this before,  but last year I sorta hooked up (PG) with a guy that lives in my building on the 6th Floor. This guy isn’t the most attractive guy in the world, but he was and is super smart. If guys that can’t write a proper sentence or type in all caps piss me off to no-end, a guy that is super smart will definitely be a turn on. He went to one of the best undergrad schools in the country and also got a business degree from the same school. So by no means is he an idiot…academically speaking.

The 6th floor guy from last year was actually the first guy in NYC that took me out on a proper date since before him I was in a 7 year relationship and then a 5 year relationship. I met the 7 year relationship guy in college, so there was no dinning or taking out. I met the 5 year guy about 5 months after splitting from the 7 year guy and just needed company, so I was willing to accept anything in terms of dating venues and guys for that matter. He took me out for a slice of pizza in Little Italy for our first date and he didn’t even eat, so you can’t really call it a formal date. He leeched on to me for a long 5 years after that, but I was the idiot that let it happen.

I’ll add a formal post on what went down with this guy last year. In short he’s a mess! But he likes to creep back in my life whenever we see each other in the lobby. He’s even gone so far to tell me in the street that he’s had dreams about me saving him. He’s told me he wants to give me babies, BUT…he’s a drunk, has had episodes of serious drug abuse, gambles too often, and loses jobs frequently. Who knows how we pays his massive mortgage, but not my problem. Right?

I’m a chatty patty and I love my doormen and the building staff, so I’m always in the lobby talking to these guys. On Friday night I see the 6th floor guy I hooked up with last year and he’s covered in bruises. Not surprising because he’s a mess, but he asks me to go out with him to a neighborhood spot. He’s dangerous, so I’m not really interested, but at the same time, I’m really worried about him and his self destructive ways. It’s like the dysfunction draws me in, which is messed up, so I stay further away.

I’m still hanging in the lobby when 20 mins later this other guy in my building walks by that lives on the 21st floor.  I’ve always thought this guy looked so cute in a suit and tie and he tells me I look gorgeous. I’m like what the hell?!? This guy never says more than 5 words to me and now he thinks I’m gorgeous? He walks back in the building and I realize he is way too talkative as he’s chatting me and the doormen up. He’s definitely been drinking. Whatever…if the liquid courage got you what you need to talk to me….keep talking.

So he goes back up to his apartment and I walk my pups. I see him on the street 5 mins later and he invites me out. I like doing random, yet safe things so I say yes. He walks with me and my pups since he also has a dog and says he’ll wait for me. Before we get back to our building he runs into 2 girls he used to work with and is like verbally vomiting on these two girls about how he got laid off/fired. I’m like great another loser guy! He just kept rambling to these girls and I felt awkward and embarrassed for him. This should have been a warning sign, but I’m an idiot and we go out to LES around 2am.

He’s all like I know a promoter at Hotel Chantelle  and we can get right in. I’m like ok whatever. Clearly his promoter was taking a while and I also knew someone there promoting named Lisa and texted her and we got right in bouncing the huge line. Once we are in we finally get to interact a little and I can’t tell if this guy is just really drunk or just weird. No wonder he never spoke before. It was like I said “up”, he would say “down”. I would try to say a joke and he would take serious offense to it. It was like we were speaking different languages. I was really turned off by this, but I like to understand things so I stayed. Plus he bought me two drinks and was very protective and polite, which was nice. He did try grabbing and holding my hand multiple times, which I thought was annoying. I’m thinking “I don’t know you…get off me”. Again, all these guys are so grabby. I have a tiny waist and curvy hips, so guys are always touching that and it get’s annoying. Don’t touch my hand or my waist until I give you the green light. At least wait till the 2nd date. This wasn’t even a date!

So all of the sudden we were with 3 other people and we were trying to remember who sang a song together. There were girls laughing and just being drunk, flirty, and silly and 21st floor guy get’s all pissed and says they were “clowning him”. This guy clearly has self esteem issues or something. Before I know it he’s saying he’s got to go and just decides for us that we are leaving. I have to quickly say my goodbyes and I turn around and he’s gone. Luckily I got a glimpse of him out the door talking to car service.

I run out the door and I ask him if he’s leaving me…shit we can share cab fare you know. He’s like “No, I thought you would like it if I got us a cab”. There were like none around, so he “negotiates” paying $20 to go from LES to Midtown East. Fucking idiot! He also wanted to “take care” of our driver and he had no cash. So I ended up paying the $20 and he gave him a $10 tip. What an idiot!

So we finally get home to our shared building after only being gone for an hour. Weird! I want to end the night, but this is where it gets tricky. We get in the elevator and I press both our floors. He’s acting awkward and he’s like “don’t you still want to hang out?” I’m thinking no I don’t want to hook up with you just leave me alone, but he follows me off my elevator and I have to rush back to my apartment to avoid my dogs barking and waking up neighbors. Fuck! So now this guy is in my apartment. And to make matters worse he’s acting like he wants to move in. WTF!?! He eventually kisses me, but it was a really wet kiss that included him licking from half way down my chin to then sucking on my bottom lip. What the hell is wrong with guys? I definitely had to wipe my face off after that kiss…GROSS! Please God why do you put all the weirdos in my path? And why are they all such bad kissers. Almost every guy I’ve kissed in my 30s has been a disgusting kisser. Is this why they are all still single? Ugh!

He says he wants to take me out to wine and dinner on the following night which would have been Saturday, but I had a bday party to go to at Fontana bar. I invite him to come and he’s like yeah we can go get a drink and then go there. I’m like cool and don’t worry about anything else. I just want him out of my apartment.

Saturday comes and we text in the morning and he is sweet. I think I’m sweet back, but I don’t like texting all day with no purpose at the same time. He says he’s going to take a nap and I respond “Talk later”. He responds “What?” and again I feel like I’m explaining or defending myself. WTF?!? I know guys sometimes have fragile egos, but this was extreme.

Hours go by and around 8:30 he tells me he’s sick and is staying in. What a fucking nut job!

It turned out I had a blast on Saturday with like 8 of my friends and met up with another 20 people at the bday party. The company was great, but I wouldn’t recommend Fontana bar. It’s too divey, definitely not a Saturday night spot.

In fact, one of the guys there was hitting on me all night and tried to even crash in my loft, but I wasn’t having it. What is it going to take to have a normal, attractive, compatible guy walk into my life? Sigh!

At any rate, the guy I dated from last year on the 6th floor that same night sent me a text around 4:25am responding to my text the day earlier. The only thing I texted was that I worry about him.  He responded a day later “Haha, go fuck urself. U don’t care and I don’t deserve it” then immediately called me to ask if we could “cuddle”. Insanity!

He apologized for that whacked out text on Sunday and asked me to go see the Batman movie. I made an excuse. Ugh! What’s wrong with guys. These are supposedly the smart high earning guys too. Are all us girls screwed?

8 Responses to “Dating Guys that Live in Your Building”

  1. Bill November 20, 2013 at 10:20 pm #

    Your whole story is full of mixed messages. One minute you’re disgusted by the guy; the next, you let him in your apartment. You claim you don’t want touching, he then gives you a sloppy kiss, and you invite him to a birthday party the next night. The other guy, you claim to want nothing to do with, sends you a message at 4:25 AM, and you respond that you worry about him. The next night a guy hits on you “all night”, but you claim you weren’t having it. A woman can turn a man off like a faucet if she really wants to. You say: “What is it going to take to have a normal, attractive, compatible guy walk into my life?” Stop being an attention whore tease!


    • saranyc November 21, 2013 at 1:01 pm #

      I’ll have to reread my posts to see exactly what you are referring to. Guys in general just suck. Last night I had a date/hang out/first meeting with a new guy I met online and I paid for a $58 meal that I didn’t even want. Guy never reached for his wallet. I also tolerated this douche kissing me in public all night which I hate. Icing on top was that he was racist and homophobic. It’s a good thing I have another date tonight with a 26 year old and another one on Friday with a 42 year. Sucks you can’t put your eggs in one basket here. I’d love to find just one good basket ;). I’m definitely not a whore, since I don’t sleep around and have had very few partners…Oh your right I guess that makes me a tease than if I respect intimacy. Screw you! You are just like all the other guys out there.


      • Bill November 22, 2013 at 8:50 pm #

        Check this out, it’s you!


        • saranyc June 10, 2014 at 4:50 pm #

          Umm no, it’s actually not me. Thanks for sending the entertaining article. I definitely do know girls like that fit this description though.

          1. I don’t post sexy or suggestive pics of myself on Facebook. Only group pics. And only one last year of me in a bathing suit with a friend.
          2. I don’t fish for compliments constantly. I’m usually giving them. Everyone is insecure about something and we all have our strong points. I like to highlight them and encourage a more positive environment.
          3. I don’t tell white lies. I honor my word. I do what I say I’m going to do.
          4. I don’t talk about my problems to everyone. Just here on this blog about boys and a few select close friends. These postings aren’t really problems either…just observations.
          5. I’m generally very giving and like for everyone to shine.
          6. I don’t text people at inappropriate times, but definitely have friends that do this to me.
          7. I may be a bit of a tease in some of these jerks eyes because I don’t put out, but I will kiss a guy. When I’m not interested I usually do the slow fade and stop responding to a guy.


  2. wildchristy July 31, 2012 at 1:47 am #

    Even if a guy makes a lot of money, that does not equate into common sense. It’s slim pickens out there for us women to find nice guys that have common sense and use it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. petitechoux July 30, 2012 at 11:31 pm #

    As long as we trust our gut instincts, I thnk we ladies are going to be fine! If red signs are popping up like crazy within the first 30 seconds of meeting someone, definitely make a run for the hills! When you meet the right guy, you won’t have that panicky feeling 🙂 It’d just feel right.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sara August 2, 2012 at 3:02 am #

      Yeah, but you know the real smooth mofo’s are really good at making girls feel right…like 6th floor guy. It wasn’t until he kept trying to get with me, that I realized it was kind of a weird equation for him. Get food, find drunk girl that wants to eat it, offer them alcohol, food, smokes, whatever, get them in his apartment, turn on music, try to dance with her and get close, start touching, than start kissing = bam she’s in your bed. I think he didn’t know what to do with me because I never went to his bed lol, which is why he probably still persists over a year later. *Sigh*



  1. NYC Breeds Smart Trashy men! | ThirtyFlirtyFit - June 11, 2014

    […] each post to eventually remember with a smile on my face. Funny that I’m close friends with both those boys in my building that tried to get with me years ago. Actually there have been 3 more from the building that have tried to get with me and I’m […]


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